Is your life "made" or "grown"?

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Transition Coaching & Event Planning, LLC Newsletter
Is your life "made" or "grown"?
May 2005
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in this issue
-- Is your life "made" or "grown"?
-- Register Now! I'm Teaching at the Learning Connection in August
-- First Session Reminder


A warm welcome to our new subscribers!

The following excerpt is from "Let Your Life Speak" a book by Parker J. Palmer:

'Seasons' is a wise metaphor for the movements of life, I think. It suggests that life is neither a battlefield nor a game of chance but something infinitely richer, more promising, more real. The notion that our lives are like the eternal cycle of the seasons does not deny the struggle or the joy, the loss or the gain, the darkness or the light, but encourages us to embrace it all - and to find in all of it opportunities for growth.

If we lived close to nature in an agricultural society, the seasons as metaphor and fact would continually frame our lives. But the master metaphor of our era does not come from agriculture - it comes from manufacturing. We do not believe that we "grow" our lives - we believe that we "make" them. Just listen to how we use the word in everyday speech: We make time, make friends, make meaning, make money, make a living, make love.

I once heard Alan Watts observe that a Chinese child will ask "How does a baby grow?" but an American child will ask, "How do you make a baby?"


Is your life "made" or "grown"?
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Whether you identify yourself as a "creationist" an "evolutionist," both, or neither, you are undeniably in the midst of a unique process, in constant flux, known as Your Life.

Parker J. Palmer is an extraordinarily intelligent and insightful educator, author, and activist. As I read his metaphor of the seasons and his observations about a culture steeped in a manufacturing model, a question rolled around in my head and heart, "Am I 'making' my life or am I 'growing' my life, and what's the difference?"

After some reflection, I see the distinction to be as follows. "Growing" is inherently gradual...it is the process en route to an outcome. "Making" is results oriented, and therefore, by definition, dependent on an outcome.

Allowing something or someone to develop by way of a natural process vs. choosing to maintain the focus on the achievement of the desired outcome alone, "makes" a BIG difference in ones experience. The process of growing something supports individual moments of joy and sorrow, and leaves room for an organic, evolving, and flexible experience. In contrast, 'making' something can be rigid and stagnant because it doesn't always honor being in the midst of a process...life itself.
Have you ever worked really hard on something you wanted, only to finally achieve it and realize you no longer want it? Such a situation can be prevented by staying connected to the process and your role in it.

It is to the detriment of our wellness and sense of purpose to be focused only on the outcome. When focused only on results, there is a tendency to view the process of getting there, as "in the way" of the goal, rather than embracing the fact that "getting there" is the crux of our lives.

The moment when something is 'made' is just that, a moment. And then, that moment's gone. But the many many moments that occur while leading up to making something...this is "the meat of life".

The focus of our perception is a choice. The outcome may be the same, but the joy of being engaged in the creation process increases exponentially when we honor the "getting there" process as rich all by itself.

Questions to Consider:

* What if you were to GROW time, GROW friends, GROW meaning, GROW money, GROW a living, GROW love...?

* Is your life "made" or "grown"?

* Are you "making" your life or are you "growing" your life?

* Does it matter? You decide.

Register Now! I'm Teaching at the Learning Connection in August
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Making Successful Life Transitions [course #730057]

Life transitions come in many forms, new job, marriage, divorce, starting a business, or more. Making the transition successful can be one of life's challenges. Learn to look at your transition as an opportunity. This workshop provides you with tools to find clarity and purpose.

Wednesday, 6:30 PM - 9:00 PM; August 03, 2005

Non-members $45, Members $35, Materials Fee $5

Instructor: Tara Gross, Location: Providence

Space is limited. Register @ www.learnconnect.com


First Session Reminder
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There is no charge for the first coaching session! This is a great opportunity to get a taste of the coaching experience. Since most of my coaching is done by telephone, you don't have to live locally for us to work together. Call or write to schedule a time that works for you.


Copyright © Transition Coaching & Event Planning, LLC, 2005.



Contact Information
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email: tara@transitioncoachinginc.com
phone: 401.569.7017
web: http://www.transitioncoachinginc.com
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